Selfish Girl

My grand plan is to plow through the expanse in search of you.

An invisible pin pricked the balloon and out popped the heart

attacks and cancer cells, pinata evictees minus the sugar and

laughter. God has rescued you from the chaos of supermarket

recalls and Presidential snafus. The president of your abode

doesn't make snafus, even though it seems so. You've been

reunited with your mother, who is introducing you to the father

you never knew. You're playing with your childhood dog Rex.

Hooting and hollering with your Army pals who plied you with

liquor on your twenty-first birthday. Smoking Pall Malls in bed

with your brother Joe. Sipping martinis while feasting on pasta

with your Aunt Lillian and Uncle Larry, who was your favorite

uncle because he reminded you of Don Rickles, Now you've got

The Merchant of Venom himself with you, and he's cracking you

up so much that you're wetting yourself. At least failing kidneys

are no longer the perpetrators. May you get a front-row seat

whenever Nat King Cole and Bing Crosby perform. I hope you're

crooning "It's a Lovely Day Today," since I always stifled you.

I liked your voice, but it grated against my eardrums to hear my

non-professional singing father sing. Please forgive me for that

and for my other mistakes that I would apologize for in person if

I only knew the secret code that would open the door. I would

gladly tear you away from those souls, because I am a selfish girl

who wants her father to meet the man she is going to marry. To tell

her whether the lace or satin wedding gown suits her. To escort her

down the aisle. To dance with her at the reception. To meet the

people she will befriend in her life who remind her of him. To learn 

of the good she will do because of lessons he taught that she used to

consider foolish. Take heart, Daddy, for we will dance one day still.

You couldn't jitterbug like Mom, but we will waltz or even cha cha

if you'd like. You can sing along to our steps and I will hush this time.

We will dance forever, for even God won't be able to stop us.