My Life As a Cat

Colorless universe, let me be. Let me sleep with one
paw slung over my eyes to shut out the garbage of life.
Let me twitch my ears, whiskers, and body as I dream
of a world beyond milk and tuna and all the other
travesties that ensnare me and my feline frenemies.
We may hiss at each other, but we will defend each
other to the death -- like some of you do. We need you
human hellraisers, no matter that some ignorant folks
may lead your minds astray. We are your Hope Diamond,
your Sherlock Holmes, and the eyelash that sticks to your
eyeball that you can never swipe away, but why would
you want to? Stop hurting me and my brethren, I beg you.
Let us live so we can enjoy the whiff of a plastic bag and
the embrace of a brown paper bag, otherwise known as
our cave when we want to play hide-and-seek. Let us keep
batting our paws at ping-ponging balls during televised
tennis matches. Stop wounding us with BB gun pellets
through our eyes and lit matches on our fur, the fluffy
stuff the civilized fraction of you love to touch. Open your
hearts enough to care about the anguish in our yowls when
you whack us with baseball bats. Let us thrive so we can
roll on the ground and do other silly things to make you
laugh after you've had a bad day at the office or when you
feel like no one else loves you or cares that you're alive.